What If Your Nervous System Is Too Sensitive For A 9-5?
In my first job out of college I had a colleague who was around my age. We were the two youngest employees by a longshot, so naturally we became friends. I remember talking to her over happy hour drinks one day and letting my guard down, I shared with her my more existential side. Normal stuff, like wondering if this was all there is to life and feeling confused by people who feel fulfilled by a life seemingly comprised of checking things off of a to-do list for all eternity...
She looked bewildered. Apparently she was, in fact, fulfilled by the life I was describing. I returned her bewildered expression with one of both shock and envy. And also, a little sadness.
Envy because wouldn't my life be easier if I could just be satisfied with the status quo? And sadness because wouldn't my life be so much more boring if I were satisfied with the status quo...
Being a highly sensitive seeker type is not for the faint of heart. But for those of us who are wired that way, we are designed to navigate the world very differently than most. That includes career.
It took me fifteen years of bouncing from one conventional job to the next before I finally surrendered to the fact that I may not be built for the 9-5 world. Each career move I made took me one small step towards my now sovereign career, but ultimately, being laid off during COVID was the final push out of the nest I needed.
The first few days after being let go from my 9-5 felt so scary. My calendar was empty and my knee-jerk reaction was to jump back into another role. But I promised myself I'd give it a month. Six years later, I haven't returned to a 9-5.
Now, looking back, I can see that my nervous system was never meant for conventional employment. But that was something I fought, and then grieved, for a long time.
In fact, it was a huge source of tension in my life for many years. I felt a deep, existential sadness that I had this soul that came to this planet with these particular gifts and there was seemingly no workplace that wanted them.
Jobs don't typically value sensitivities. They value measureable outcomes, metrics, productivity and scale. Even the helping fields have their own version of this if you stay long enough.
When I was a teacher, my favorite part of teaching was getting to know, and interact with my students as whole and complex human beings. But that wasn't really the job I was hired to do. It was more of a happy tangent. I found the same to be true in working as a student advisor, social worker, and program supervisor. Every new title brought me closer to my authenticity, but none of them gave me what I really craved: Freedom, depth, humanity, connection, and genuine growth.
Highly sensitive people often struggle in conventional employment. They are not traditionally fast-movers, quick decision makers, or good at small talk. Instead, HSPs are excellent at pattern-recognition, highly emotionally intelligent, and very detail-oriented for the things that matter to them. By necessity, because HSPs are taking in so much more information than the average person, they also tend to miss or ignore details that they deem unimportant.
I often work with people who don't realize they are HSPs, but they almost always tell me they are struggling to fit into conventional roles or workplaces. They crave a deeper sense of meaning but find it hard to access.
This is exactly why I do what I do the way that I do it: Because it's exactlywhat I needed when I was feeling so defeated in my career. Even though I was relatively successful on paper, I felt empty inside. I needed someone to help me understand that the emptiness was less of a problem to be solved and more of a signpost to be followed.
And that's also why, when navigating a career path as an HSP, the internal work is essential.
HSPs require a lot of untangling of what is meaningful to THEM from what they are told SHOULD be meaningful for them. Once we are able to recognize the difference, clarity comes. And once HSPs understand that aspects of who they are and their sensitivities are valuable assets, rather than liabilities, a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
The good news is that conventional employment is becoming less viable anyway. I predict that many people over the next 5-10 years will find themselves in some form of self-employment, partly out of necessity. And when we are willing to be creative, think outside the box, and trust our inner knowing, so many opportunities becomes available beyond conventional employment and even beyond conventional entrepreneurship too.
If you're someone who is struggling to fit into conventional employment and you'd like support in figuring out your unique path forward, I'd love to connect with you. I offer a free 30-minute chat, or you can check out my website to learn more about how I work with people.
Alex Rizzi (MSEd) is an integrative career coach, hypnotherapist, and soon-to-be psychotherapist. She helps people decondition from extractive systems and build careers rooted in sovereignty. If this article resonated, take her free quiz to discover your Liberated Career Archetype or book a free chat here.