The Psychology Behind Why You Feel Stuck In Your Career (And How To Use It To Your Advantage)
According to The Hill, 60% of Americans reported feeling stuck in their job last year.
SIXTY PERCENT.
That number is staggering.
Instead of going into all of the possible reasons people feel this way, like stagnant wages, corporate greed, AI, tech billionaires, mass layoffs, the patriarchy, the government, the entire extractive capitalistic system that we are all living under without our consent...
(Whew! Exhale...)
I'd like, instead, to get into the psychology of what has us believe we are stuck when in reality, we have a plethora of opportunities all around us, if we are willing and able to see them.
And this is not to dismiss all of those reasons mentioned above. They are very real. But the reason I want to focus on the inner vs. the outer here is that when we turn our focus inward, it provides us the tools and clarity to take small steps towards positive change in the external. When we know and understand the invisible mechanisms at play, we are much more capable of serving the greater good, in whatever ways we are each meant to (and getting paid well for it, if we so choose).
So, I'll share a personal anecdote to demonstrate how the very notion of career stuckness can be shifted by turning inward, as well as the psychological mechanisms at play here.
For some context, I am in my final year of my masters program in integrative psychotherapy, which means that I am also deep into my own personal journey in intensive therapy. I also recently adopted a dog. Her name is Ollie. These two pieces of information will make sense later.
I mean… come on!
I live in Ireland and recently spent a few weeks visiting my family in the US. My partner stayed with our dog but I hired a dog walker to come walk her during the day while he is at work. As you can see from the photo, Ollie and I are pretty bonded, so I was nervous about leaving her.
Before I left I did everything I could to make sure she would be ok: The dog walker came five times to walk her before I left so she could get to know him. I had the apartment stocked with treats, food, chews, toys, enrichment games, you name it. I worked with her on training skills and figured out which treats she liked best. Anything and everything I could think of to make sure she would be ok, I did.
In spite of all of my preparations, when the time came for me to fly home, my mind started to spiral.
What if she slips out of her harness while on a walk, runs into the street, gets hit by a car, and dies? What if she manages to open the window and jump out of our 3rd story apartment and dies? What if she misses me so much that she DIES!?
I brought this realization to my therapist: The fact that my mind seems to be wired for the worst-case scenario which often leads me into an anxiety-ridden attempt to plan for, and thus, preemptively control the outcome of a series of hypothetical future scenarios.
Needless to say, it's maddening.
Luckily, I have a good therapist, and she's trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, among other modalities. CBT is designed to poke holes in the unhelpful cognitive patterns we find ourselves in. Doing so gives us access to a new set of thoughts, and thus, a new set of choices and outcomes.
So, we got to work. She asked if Ollie had ever slipped out of her harness before? I said no. She asked if Ollie had ever opened the window before? I said no. Had Ollie ever run into traffic before? No. In fact, girlfriend is a survivor. She survived on the streets after her previous owners abandoned her on the side of the road.
So we have some evidence to support that Ollie will most likely, be fine. In fact, we have more evidence to support that she will be fine, than evidence to support that she won't be.
This realization alone started to create a shift in my brain.
So practical, and so life changingly helpful. I was able to let go of the worry and be in the moment while in the US. And happily, Ollie continues to be very much alive and living her best life.
Now, lets bring it back to your career.
Many of my clients come to me in a similar state that I came to my therapist a few weeks ago: stuck in a mental loop that they are struggling to think their way out of...
It often looks something like this:
I'm unhappy with my current work situation.
I look around at other work situations and none of them seem right.
I remain in my current work situation.
I feel existential dread.
This is an oversimplified version, but you get the idea. And maybe you can relate.
It's these feedback loops we find ourselves in that can feel so sticky and impossible to get out of, and there's a reason for that: We're trying to use the same mechanism that got us into the stuck place, to get out of it. That almost never works.
We have to dig a little deeper.
When I work with someone struggling in this way, we start by unpacking the thoughts and beliefs.
Often times, there's a voice way deep down in there that that says something like, "I'm not good enough" or "I'm a failure" or "I'll never amount to anything."
These are core beliefs that come from childhood and they are invisible until we shine a light on them.
Once we find them, we have a lot to work with. Think of core beliefs like tinted glasses: everything you see is filtered through them.
So if you have a subconscious core belief that you are a failure, you are not likely to pursue an opportunity that feels like a reach outside your comfort zone.
This is how our thoughts and subconscious beliefs have such a strong impact on our behaviors and choices.
If you you say you want to work for yourself, but deep down you don't believe you're capable of that, you will sabotage yourself every step of the way.
On the flip side, if you know you are capable of that and much more, then the steps to get there feel natural and doable.
So, if you're feeling stuck in your career, I want to offer you a few possible holes to poke in your current, unhelpful belief system:
It has never been easier to start a business or create a self-owned career.
The skills you have right now are desirable, valuable, and needed.
You can package and sell them to people and/or businesses.
The more outside the box your skillset, the better.
You are more than capable of reaching and surpassing your goals.
If you look, you'll find the evidence to support all of above.
Now, if you made it this far, and would like some support in re-wiring your brain so that you can:
Heal and thrive after a career crisis
Transition out of conventional employment and into a self-owned career
Turn your pain into purpose and meaning
Go through an awakening of any kind
Get the deep-level of support your mind and nervous system need
I would suggest my career-clarity deep dive. It's a two-hour intensive where we get to the root cause of your career-confusion, poke holes in the internal blocks, access the clarity you're seeking, and clear the way for that to be fully available to you.
If that sounds like exactly the kind of support you're looking for, you can book your Career Clarity Deep Dive session here.
And, if you have questions or want to learn more, check out my website alexrizzicoaching.com or book a free consultation here. I would love to connect with you and support you on your journey.
Alex Rizzi (MSEd) is an integrative career coach, hypnotherapist, and soon-to-be psychotherapist. She helps people decondition from extractive systems and build careers rooted in sovereignty. If this article resonated, take her free quiz to discover your Liberated Career Archetype or book a free chat here.